July 18, 2012

why I became an art teacher (pt. 3)

Course correction.
Had I not been an interior design major I'm not sure you'd be reading this blog.

being invisible
I didn't thrive when I finally made it to my Alma mater. In fact, I barely survived. I followed my sister's footsteps when I joined her university as a sophomore. Same university. Same living residence. She had graduated but left her mark in such a way that I found myself competing her once again. I wanted to be me but everyone else wanted me to be her. Facing that was a challenge that I finally won in time. Classes provided me with a new challenge. My degree was different at this different school. Bad different. I was suddenly invisible in my hall and in my classes. My advisers and thus professors were harsh and cold. Two traits that I don't tend to mix well with. I woke up every morning and had to drag myself to class. Was this what my life would feel like once I graduated? 

a conversation
I let the dragging of my feet continue for far too long. I was a junior and feeling more trapped than I knew how to handle. Once you hit upperclassmen years, you begin to realize that you made your choices and now you have to live with them. Because I was a transfer student I still had three years left before I would ultimately graduate and go work at an architecture firm. Far too long to feel that way and yet I was far too scared to tell anyone. At the beginning of that fall semester I felt a call on my heart to fast for a week. Although it isn't something I would normally share, it is vital to how my life changed. I started the fast without knowing why God was burdening my heart with that call and by the end of the week it still wasn't clear. On the last day of the fast I went to my History of Architecture class. The class was mildly entertaining mostly because I had some friends in it with me. One of them was a girl from my church who happened to be studying Interior Design too. She was older than me and a great asset when it came to knowing what was ahead of me. She said something to me that day which changed my life. We were discussing what my future years would look like and she looked me and bluntly stated that if she could go back to where I was she would get out of the major and do something else. I left the class shaking because I finally understood what had been burdening my heart all week. Maybe even my whole life.

the day my life changed
By the time I got back to my Hall, I knew what I needed to do. I called my parents and told them I felt like I was being called to change my major. My parents being the graciously understanding people that they are gave me the green light. Secretly, I had been scoping out the art education degree program for some time when I was alone in my room. I got back on it that day and realized it would take me just as long to graduate with a BAE as it would have with Interior Design. I set up a meeting to talk to my interior design advisers and the art education advisers.

what's your name?
When I told my Interior Design adviser I was dropping his class and the major he told me I was making a huge mistake. He said that he knew I would be back even when I assured him I would not. He told me that I was one of his most talented students and I showed so much promise. I thanked him but deterred the conversation to whether I could have my first project back so I could take it home. With resignation in his voice he asked me what my name was so he could go get it. I thought in my head, 'are you serious'?! You tell me I'm a promising student but don't know my name? I walked past him, grabbed my project, turned my head and told him my name is Jennifer, and walked out the door. Never to return.

No comments:

Post a Comment